Cambridge to London (the morning train)

Why is it so eerily quiet at the station in the morning?
The pre-recorded announcer's voice echoes down the platform. It's a strange thing is train etiquette, or perhaps what's strange is that etiquette goes out the window without hesitation. As the train pulls up office workers (of which I am unfortunately one) huddle together in little clusters evenly spaced along the platform, representing the approximate spacing of the doors. Those with the most experience naturally know best where the doors are most likely to open, a skill honed by many months of saying to ones self:

Tomorrow I must stand 30cm further to the left of the cluster chewing gum on the platform which looks like the constellation Orion

They are reward with their pick seats from an empty car.
As the train arrives & slows it becomes apparent, the skills of the leader & consequently the huddle will shuffle sideways one pace or two to the left or right. Finally there's a 'ping' & with the distinctive hiss of a pneumatically actuated train door the huddle breaks & on the coat tails of the leader disarray ensues as all pour fourth with such determination, you would rather think the train was leaving in two & a half minutes, each car only had 5 seats & above
all that we can't truly relish every minute of our hour inside the carpeted, poorly ventilated, steel tube.